I’m sitting here in a Starbucks contemplating my life’s purpose. How cliche is that? I’m supposed to be working from home today, but I don’t work well from home. (I’m able to be productive, but I don’t like the feel of it — too isolating — and this coming from a bit of an introvert. Perhaps that’s why I don’t like it. It plays into my social anxiety and creates a vicious cycle of isolation in me. So I’m at Starbucks. Their WiFi is the best, and I’m not taking up someone’s “section” in a restaurant.) Apparently today I don’t work well from Starbucks either.
I’ve been feeling really burnt out. I try to just power through it, but when left to rely on my own willpower and drive, it’s not working out so hot. Next week I’ll be done with my other job, and I’ll allow myself a day off. They tried to call me and ask me to work mother’s day. Ha. The people pleaser in me tried to guilt me for saying no. The anti-establishment “soup stirring” rebel in me tried to kick my butt for not laughing in my manager’s face and making it a really colorful no. I happen to BE a mother, and I haven’t had a mother’s day off since my kiddo was old enough to remember.
It’s really cold outside for April. Almost my birthday now. The 20something still left in me wants to go out and make myself absolutely sick while I dance and sing karaoke. Maybe hire a limo service. The mystic in me wants to fast and meditate. Sometimes I think I’m complex, and sometimes I think I’m just bipolar, haha.
OK I’m going back to work. Catch you on the flip side. Do people still say that? Ugh.